Low Expectations: Different From Low Standards

"Take a Chance and Hire Me," a Bieber Parody

This quickly went from an idea, to taking over my entire night. Enjoy, and then hire me.

Car Talk About Ira Glass

I Ain't No Expert on the Matter

My posts have been sporadic because I am trying to assemble some sort of infrastructure resembling a life here in San Francisco. This means looking for a job, which is a frustrating and thankless endeavor.

Today's frustrations are brought to you be the words "specialist" and "expert." I have seen these two words in so many job listing and every time I see them I want to flip over whatever table and chair I'm sitting at and howl like an angry capuchin monkey. You know why? I graduated at the top of my class; I'm smart, I'm a hard worker, I got talents and stuff. But I'm not an expert, and I'm not a specialist! I could say I'm a writing specialist, but that's nothing if not paired with webernet skills or marketing skills or managing a team of 7+ members skills. I'm an expert at caramelizing onions. I'm an expert at watching YouTube videos of other people's pets and babies. I'm an expert at braiding hair. Anyone? Anyone?

So here's what I'm finding: there is no in-between jobs for college grads. Sure, I'm entry-level, but give me a little more credit than that. But not too much. 'Cause I ain't no specialist.

Eyebrows, and Family Units

Wow, Where Have I Been?

How do you feel about this video format? I can't decide if I love it because I like talking to myself, or hate it, because I'm talking to myself.

We Always Celebrated Our Birthdays Together

One of my bestest friends is in Ecuador. Its her birthday and I love her. So there. I mean, here:

I've Missed the Cowell Press

Jobs, Applying For Them

I have tabbed six interesting job listings at the top of my browser. Now I am looking at them. I have read through all of them at least twice. Now: looking at them. What do I need to do to make myself do something about these morsels of potential?

I'm reading a book about being in your twenties (more explanatory post to follow) and one of the points the writer makes is how easy it is to become paralyzed by possibility. That's exactly what's happening to me. I know I need a job. I'm terrified I won't find one. I constantly talk about needing a job and my terror of not having one. But now I'm looking at all these possibilities and I can't do anything except for look at them, like they're paintings at museums or optical illusions. Maybe if I squint, I'll see a puppy. That would make me feel better. A puppy. Maybe I'll get a puppy. But I need a job to pay for a puppy. So I can't get a puppy.

I'm hoping that by posting this I will publicly expose my fear/laziness, be mortified by this knowledge, and break my paralysis. That sounds healthy...

Shoot the Moon

Driving home on the highway, I saw a shooting star and thought it was the moon, so I made a wish.

A Follow-Up on my Seal Pup Sighting

I want to revisit my amazing experience with a seal pup that took place last Sunday. Upon sharing this experience with my volunteer supervisor at the Seymour Center, I was informed that while my actions were not harmful, they were not in line with the guidelines set out by National Marine Sanctuaries. The hand book says:

Stay at least 50 yards away from wild animals. If wildlife approaches you, stay calm and slowly back away... Time spent observing individual animals should be limited to 30 minutes or less, if wildlife reacts to your presence....If a wild animal changes its behavior (i.e., stops feeding, appears nervous or aggressive, changes its direction of travel, raises its head sharply, exhibits a broken wing display, makes direct eye contact, or circles repeatedly), it may be an indication that your presence is disturbing the animal.

I now know that I was too close to the seal pup, a fact I had intuited at the time. While the pup seemed comfortable and content, my presence did affect its behavior. He looked at my repeatedly, which I found endearing, and may have wiggled around to show off. In this case, my presence did no harm, but I am glad to have learned the correct rules for marine mammal observation.

Lesson learned. Don't try this at home, kids.

It's All Fun and Games

Instead of working out, I decided to play jacks.

How Much is the Seal Pup in the Window?

Today I wanted to go on a nice long walk instead of going to the gym. I also wanted to explore the area surrounding where I'm staying for the month, in the mountains of Santa Cruz. I asked my kind host (previously my professor---sound weird? it's not) for a suggestion and he recommended a beach cove two miles up Highway 1.

The way he described it, I imagined cliffs overlooking the beach, upon which I could take a brisk walk, therefore fulfilling my exercise quota for the day. However, when I arrived, I found no such cliffs. Rather, I found no way to mount these cliffs, to then take a brisk walk, and fulfill my exercise quota for the day. I called and he clarified that the walk was to be taken on the beach itself, and onto the rocks where there are tidepools. I was a little annoyed because a beach walk would not fulfill my exercise quota for the day.

Contemplating this dilemma, I built this:

 That made me feel better. 

Then I found this rock....

...and that made me feel better too. And, yes, I somehow managed to get the surfer smack dab in the center of the hole. Smack dab? Where did that saying come from? Somebody tell me.

I also saw a bunch of sea stars, which is exciting even though I see them all the time at the Seymour Center. Seeing them in the wild is just so much cooler. 

 

Okay, but then things really started to happen. Another fellow tidepooler came up to me and said, "There's a seal pup over there!" and pointed to a nearby rock. I asked him the basics--how close can I get, can I touch it, can I take it, etc... Then I made my way over and saw this:
 

 

...Is that not the cutest thing you have ever, ever, ever seen? It was absolutely amazing. I got within five feet of the little guy, probably a lot closer than I should have. But I just couldn't help it! It would look up at me and wiggle and yawn, and then look up again, as if he wanted to make sure I was still there. 

At the same time as I gawked over the ridiculous cuteness, I was also very terrified of its mother coming and biting my head off. So while I absolutely considered petting the pup ("This might be the only chance I get, ever!!!") I decided to keep my distance. I settled on neurotically glancing at the water every three seconds while still inching my way closer, ignoring the cold sea water at my ankles. 

Here's a little piece of the magic (pardon the profanity--I was momentarily concerned that the pup wanted to eat me):

What an experience. Is there a lesson to be learned? Sure there is. For someone who likes plans and predictability, today was an example of things not going my way but turning out way better than was imaginable. I embraced the rupture in my day, accepted that I might not fulfill my exercise quota of the day (a big deal, for anyone who knows me), and enjoyed myself anyway.

The other lesson: seal pups are the new kitten.

Evidence of Clandestine Avocado-Eater Found in Gym Bathroom

Witnesses can only wonder, "why?"

Work, and the Drive Home

Measuring Out My Life in Labels

Eight points if you get the title reference! Because ten points would be excessive.

So, I'm packing, and it makes me think. Actually most activities makes me think, exempting sleep and watching Glee.Packing up belongings is too-perfect a chance to reflect on one's relationship to material objects. For me, this has mainly concluded with the utterance: "Man, I have a lot of crap."

I've done a lot of this sort of reflection and have considered torching my closet on several occasions; yet as I go through all my crap I find wonderful reasons to keep everything...

"What if I need a reference book on Marxist theory when I hypothetically go to graduate school?"
 "But I've had this lamp for as long as I remember, and I want my kids to have this lamp!"
"I will definitely want to read every single one of my college papers twenty years from now..."
"What if I want to make an art project out of all of these recyclables?!"

The last one is the driving force for a lot of the clutter in my life, unfortunately. 


Excuses aside,  I thought it would be fun to post some of the labels which quantify my life. Here ya go:

 

PS- The title reference is from T.S. Elliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"

...For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?....

View at the dog beach, where I watch other people's dogs and wish they were mine. All mine.

A Twist on a Classic

Low-carb PB&J

You'll Know Why

So, it's been a while--I know. I feel the need to justify why I haven't been posting as voraciously, a feeling which I resent since I answer to no one on this blog. Except myself. So I resent the fact that I feel the need to justify my absence to myself....Wow, did you already stop reading? Because I did, and that's kind of impossible because I'm writing this and so in order to read it I have to continue to write it....

....strike two, Small Hands, strike two.

Okay so what's been going on:

1. I may have OD-ed on blog posting while I was in Yosemite

2. I'm having issues uploading photos from my iPhone to da compy, and I'm sick of uploading straight from the iPhone since it makes it so that I have less control over the formatting

3. Family, man

4. I AM MOVING SOON and I am scared and excited and scared of being excited and excited about being scared because it builds character? So yes, I am planning my next big adventure, being a move to San Francisco, which is a city, which is scary, and exciting. My plan is to ultimately gain employment at an art organization in either a communications, education and/or outreach position. (Can you tell I've written this a million times?)

From what I've gathered from several informational interviews, the only way to get into the art world is to be an unpaid intern. And the only way to live and be an intern is to also get a job. So my plan is to get a job, and intern at an art organization as well, in hopes that a position will magically open up and POOF I will be there, waiting to be wrapped up in their delicious artsy arms. What?

 The only case I would not poof-be-wrapped-up is if the job I get in the meantime ends up being AWESOME, like the one I applied to yesterday. Its a copywriter position at www.sneakpeeq.com; check it out, its an awesome online retail store that gives awesome deals on quirky and unique items.

5. I rediscovered popcorn. I used to love popcorn. In fact, I always listed it as my "comfort food" in questionnaires at school. How could I forget my comfort food?! Probably because I replaced that title with lame adult foods like kale and lentils and ground turkey (coincidentally, exactly what I ate tonight).

Anyway, I'm back and I'm going to mediate this conflict between my iPhone and Picasa. I mean really, they gotta work this out. Then I will begin to post sentimental I'm-Leaving-Santa-Cruz-So-Here-Are-All-The-Landmarks-I-Love. If there are watermarks on the pictures, you'll know why.

Paint Bubbles

Today the kids and I did a project that we call "paint bubbles." Basically, you put food coloring (a lot of it) into a bottle of bubble solution and then you blow onto a blank sheet of paper. The end product is really neat: with little globes of color overlapping one another, and rainbow raindrops. 

 

My other favorite part of this project is what the kids end up looking like. Nothing's cuter than messy kids (except when they're your own).

 

 

"Let's Take the Long Way Home," Again

I am rereading Let's Take the Long Way Home, by Gail Caldwell, which I read and loved last month ( I am reading at least one book a month during 2012, will post more about this later). This time around I want to record the passages and ideas that touched me in this beautiful memoir about two writers, their dogs, and their lives together.



ON FRIENDSHIP

Opening line of book:
"It's an old, old story: I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that, too." (pg. 3)
 

"Finding Caroline was like placing a personal ad for an imaginary friend, then having her show up at your door funnier and better than you had conceived." (pg. 13)


ON WRITERS

" If writers possess a common temperament, it's that they tend to be shy egomaniacs; publicity is the spotlight they suffer for the recognition they crave."  (pg. 17)

"I had known enough writers in my life, including myself, to recognize this trait: What made it to the page was never the whole story, but rather the writer's version of the story--a narrative with its creator in full control." (pgs. 20-21)


Get why I'm rereading it?

Oops, I Went Somewhere Beautiful Again

Seacrest Hotel, Pismo Beach

Twenty-First Century Passover

Enough about Yosemite, Let's Talk About Color!

My bossladyfriend and I did this awesome art project over our school's spring break. Easy to do (hot glue, hair dryer, crayons, canvas) and amazing results. Mine isn't on there because its a birthday present for someone who would potentially read this and then the surprise would be RUINED!

The cat picture I included because I think the contrast is striking. Love that beautiful kitty!

Tour of the Sierra Mountain Lodge Lobby

Get ready for a quaint-attack!

More Hilarity from Yosemite Weekend

Four Jews pack for a day hike. This is what they bring:

 

Our trip came with a complimentary Planet Earth-style narration:

 

Snowbaby reaches its unfortunate fate:

 

Is it just me, or are my friends hilarious?  Don't answer that unless you agree.

"Yosemite!" The Musical

My fellow Yosemites are all very musical. As such, we could be found singing in every situation possible, including:

THE CAR

(This was completely spontaneous)

THE WOODS

THE CABIN

I have talented friends, and forests are even more magical when viewed in harmony.

Mirror Lake: Where We Found Ourselves

Lower Yosemite Falls

Despite cautionary folklore, we went chasing waterfalls.

On the Road to Yosemite National Park

We found Uruguayans playing in the snow. They're the ones with the flag. Small world!