Low Expectations: Different From Low Standards

"Take a Chance and Hire Me," a Bieber Parody

This quickly went from an idea, to taking over my entire night. Enjoy, and then hire me.

Car Talk About Ira Glass

I Ain't No Expert on the Matter

My posts have been sporadic because I am trying to assemble some sort of infrastructure resembling a life here in San Francisco. This means looking for a job, which is a frustrating and thankless endeavor.

Today's frustrations are brought to you be the words "specialist" and "expert." I have seen these two words in so many job listing and every time I see them I want to flip over whatever table and chair I'm sitting at and howl like an angry capuchin monkey. You know why? I graduated at the top of my class; I'm smart, I'm a hard worker, I got talents and stuff. But I'm not an expert, and I'm not a specialist! I could say I'm a writing specialist, but that's nothing if not paired with webernet skills or marketing skills or managing a team of 7+ members skills. I'm an expert at caramelizing onions. I'm an expert at watching YouTube videos of other people's pets and babies. I'm an expert at braiding hair. Anyone? Anyone?

So here's what I'm finding: there is no in-between jobs for college grads. Sure, I'm entry-level, but give me a little more credit than that. But not too much. 'Cause I ain't no specialist.

Eyebrows, and Family Units

Wow, Where Have I Been?

How do you feel about this video format? I can't decide if I love it because I like talking to myself, or hate it, because I'm talking to myself.

We Always Celebrated Our Birthdays Together

One of my bestest friends is in Ecuador. Its her birthday and I love her. So there. I mean, here:

I've Missed the Cowell Press

Jobs, Applying For Them

I have tabbed six interesting job listings at the top of my browser. Now I am looking at them. I have read through all of them at least twice. Now: looking at them. What do I need to do to make myself do something about these morsels of potential?

I'm reading a book about being in your twenties (more explanatory post to follow) and one of the points the writer makes is how easy it is to become paralyzed by possibility. That's exactly what's happening to me. I know I need a job. I'm terrified I won't find one. I constantly talk about needing a job and my terror of not having one. But now I'm looking at all these possibilities and I can't do anything except for look at them, like they're paintings at museums or optical illusions. Maybe if I squint, I'll see a puppy. That would make me feel better. A puppy. Maybe I'll get a puppy. But I need a job to pay for a puppy. So I can't get a puppy.

I'm hoping that by posting this I will publicly expose my fear/laziness, be mortified by this knowledge, and break my paralysis. That sounds healthy...

Shoot the Moon

Driving home on the highway, I saw a shooting star and thought it was the moon, so I made a wish.